In Guatemala, wearing a pair of red glasses has transcended from being a fashion statement to a symbol against stigma and discrimination faced by people living with HIV. UNAIDS, in partnership with the National Red Cross, launched “See to understand”, a campaign that challenges people to look at the world through red glasses for a new perspective on what it can mean to live with HIV.

Millions of people still do not know what HIV is, how it is transmitted or how to prevent it. Furthermore, a range of social prejudices result in people living with HIV being frequently subject to discrimination in the workplace and in wider society. UNAIDS Guatemala and the Guatemalan Red Cross felt it was necessary to speak about HIV in order to stop taboos and prejudices.

The new initiative aims to raise awareness about HIV, eliminate stigma and discrimination and contribute to achieving the UNAIDS vision of zero new HIV infections, zero discrimination and zero AIDS-related deaths in Guatemala.

Ver para entender (See to understand) promotes the use of red glasses to make visible the commitment to counter stigma and discrimination related to HIV. According to the campaign, wearing the glasses means prioritizing health over social and cultural norms and supporting people living with and affected by HIV. “‘To see’ means to challenge fear, ignorance, silence and myths that contribute to fuel the stigma and discrimination that jeopardize the progress made in the response to AIDS,” said Enrique Zelaya, UNAIDS Country Coordinator for Guatemala and Mexico.

Participants can support the campaign by taking a picture of themselves wearing a pair of red glasses and encourage others to do the same. So far more than 800 people have joined this initiative including national authorities and people living with HIV. Among them, Luz Lainfiesta Minister of Social Development, Claudia Samayoa Director of the National STD, HIV and AIDS Program and Otoniel Ramirez REDCA + Regional Secretary.

‘To see’ means to challenge fear, ignorance, silence and myths that contribute to fuel the stigma and discrimination that jeopardize the progress made in the response to AIDS

Enrique Zelaya, UNAIDS Country Coordinator for Guatemala and Mexico

“HIV affects us all and the response requires a comprehensive approach,” said Minister Lainfiesta. “From the Ministry of Social Development we will work to reach the goal of zero discrimination towards people living with HIV.”

The powerful message of the campaign has already expanded beyond Guatemala. During the 19th Session of the Human Rights Council held in Geneva February 2012, the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, Ms Navi Pillay put on the red glasses and urged countries to protect human rights and work towards the elimination of the stigma and discrimination affecting people living with HIV.

The campaign will undertake additional activities to raise awareness about HIV-related stigma and discrimination including the broadcast of radio messages and the organization of social mobilization activities such as discussion forums, surveys and community arts competitions on HIV.

Prevailing stigma and discrimination

An estimated 65 000 people are living with HIV in the Guatemala. There are more than 20 people becoming newly infected every day amounting around 7 500 new HIV infections each year. The HIV epidemic in the country remains concentrated among key populations at higher risk such as sex workers and their clients and men who have sex with men. Discrimination against these affected populations is also very high in the country making it more difficult for them to access HIV services.

According to the first national human rights report, between 2009 – 2010 there were 313 complaints to the national attorney and civil society organizations of which 46% related to violations of the right to health and 13% to the right to life and integrity. Such violations ranged from shortages of antiretroviral medicines to lack of adequate and friendly health facilities and personnel.

The transgender organization OTRANS stressed in the report that transgender people had limited access to employment because of stigma and discrimination. OTRANS also reported cases of physical aggressions, disappearances and deaths because of gender identity. According to the organization, 13 deaths and 3 disappearances were reported from 2007 to 2011.

“Since the beginning of the epidemic, stigma and discrimination have been identified as the main obstacle to an effective HIV response,” said Cesar Núñez, UNAIDS Regional Director for Latin America. “Discrimination related to HIV is itself a violation of human rights, and, in turn, implies the violation of other rights, including the right to health, education, dignity and equality before the law,” he added.

Surely, they cannot be suggesting that the arbitrary violence that some wives are subject to in Sri Lanka is acceptable; burned rice that results in cut lips and black eyes? It must be wives that were somehow overly flirtatious with another man. Wives that have behaved, or even worse, dressed, inappropriately. Wives that have proved to be whores!

What about those husbands that use wives like dogs? Psychologists call it displaced aggression, commonly known as kick-the-dog syndrome. Surely the adolescent girls can’t mean these husbands? Their wives did nothing more than open the door and welcome them home.

What about the husbands that come home inebriated and then proceed to beat their wives to a pulp for looking at them the wrong way? Do the 54% think this is justified?

Our friends at the Alcohol and Drug Information Centre (ADIC) have a theory that the alcohol socialization process in Sri Lanka begins with the mother at the fence discussing with her neighbour her husband’s need to consume alcohol due to the various problems he faces. ADIC says this results in young people (who accompany their mother to the fence as kids) turning to alcohol to solve their problems – meka bonna ona prashnayak!

Do you think the mothers at the fences talk about how beleaguered their husbands are to rationalize their still bloody noses, or visible grab marks on arms? Perhaps the 54% have stood by holding on to maternal hems listening to why this is ok, understandable even, that’s it, understandable.

Do you think that this level of acceptance among young adolescent girls mirrors our own as Sri Lankans?

Violence is under reported here.  As a Nation, we’re also on record refuting allegations that we in anyway mistreat women. Apparently we revere them, and have placed them in the highest offices of the land as a symbol of our respect and adoration. This ridiculous response however was not pilloried by our free and easy going mainstream press. We seem to accept that this is just the way things are in Sri Lanka…

Is it a really surprise then that 54% of young adolescent girls think that wife beating is acceptable?

We did a series of workshops for the Rotaract Club in 2010 and also 2011 that included a discussion on violence in relationships. Over two thirds of the participants, predominantly from Colombo, affluent, English speaking, agreed that a man can in fact hit a woman, if the woman has done something to deserve it… defining what deserved a violent response in relationships ran the gamut from overcooking rice to being unfaithful. We were surprised at the levels of acceptance that first year, and then, as we did more workshops and listened to what were rational and well thought out justifications for intimate partner violence, our surprise soon gave way to disbelief and finally almost resignation.

This is the way we are. Simple, really. It’s not even about insidious forms of patriarchy. There’s nothing insidious about our acceptance of intimate partner violence… or at least, it’s no more insidious than us using the term intimate partner violence in a bid to be inclusive of men and women who face emotional and physical violence in their relationships, regardless of marital status and sexuality. No, in Sri Lanka, we’re honest, open, even proud of our patriarchal weltanschauung. A man is a man, with man responsibilities and commitments, and similarly, a woman is a woman, with woman obligations and duties. Those who fall between and into the cracks… well, tough, this is Sri Lanka.

Recently we have wondered if Sri Lanka’s patriarchy has its roots in Buddhism. You might think this an unnecessarily reductive approach to what has long be acknowledged as an amalgam of anthropology, religion (especially the people of the book) and their resultant socio-cultural influences. But still, we have to examine our contemporary expressions of Buddhism, which must surely be derived from the various influences just outlined, including the Judeo-Christian God of those who colonized us for nearly 450 years.

Religion’s role in patriarchy is well documented. It is steeped in power. Just read the Ten Commandments. They were written for men who owned slaves, donkeys and women. Nietzsche, before syphilitic insanity claimed him – a judgment from God, of course – spoke at length of how faith and belief was used to manipulate the masses. The herd. The priests didn’t believe in the lie of God, and most crucially heaven and hell. They merely perpetuated it.

Have we men similarly perpetuated a lie that it is in fact normal i.e. the norm, to slap our women about, especially when they deserve it?

Do we believe this, or do we find it convenient? Are we afraid that our women may wake up to the fact that we’re bullies and cheats and, in general, loathsome? Surely this is unnecessary Feminist vitriol? Next thing you know, I’d be advocating that all women become lesbians? That’s what feminists do apparently, even the men.

This last week, we’ve been forced to engage with our Buddhist ways in Sri Lanka.

When we heard of what happened in Dambulla, did we collectively shudder, or did we bang our hairy Sinhala chests in exultation? Nietzsche’s ascetic priest that believes not what he preaches was alive and well. Power was on display. Policemen and the armed forces were mocked and chided.

Is there a connection between Dambulla and the 54% of young adolescent girls who have beatings and marital rape to look forward to? Are they not both a reflection of what we have become… or even worse, who we’ve always been?

There are answers out there, but we mustn’t be afraid to ask the questions.

How do we recover? How do we help the 54% and the rest of our young girls feel self worth and value that will not perpetuate our peculiar patriarchy?

We’re as far from comprehensive sex education – any well structured programme addresses gender and patriarchy – in schools as we’re from freedom of speech. But how far is that really? What is the distance? How many miles to go before we sleep?

The shortest verse in the Bible is John’s Gospel Chapter 11, verse 35: Jesus wept.

This last week, as I watched and read of the ugly militant Buddhism that has raised its head and stripped itself of robes to jump up and down naked and unabashed, all I could see were tears in Buddha’s eyes. Today, reading of the 54%, Buddha’s tears continued to flow.

Buddha wept, and we, if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry too.

Absolutely nothing has changed, has it? In 1995 when they tried to review our archaic abortion laws (Article 303 of the penal Code enacted in 1883) the Church and Mosque formed an alliance that has not been witnessed since the Sufis and Franciscans sat down to barrels of mead and bawdy ballads in Sherwood forest. Our parliament listened to this alliance in ’95 and will no doubt pay heed again. They better.

You called upon us to keep a straight back, a stiff upper lip, and not give into the bankrupt moralities of the West. Fantastic. Your rational that abortions will only succeed in reducing the number of young people in this country, our future, was in no way alarmist, or inaccurate, surely the near 30,000 abortions that take place every month has in fact eliminated 30,000 potential young people in this country. That’s 360,000 young people in a year! I was at a gathering recently, where a young man claimed that the provision of free healthcare and education leaves us with absolutely no excuse to not procreate. Like you, he believed what he said. I, however, want to take this further, and I know you will agree with me; we have to do something about all the potential young people we’re losing to masturbated semen. Ironically Malcolm, the worst perpetrators of this crime are indeed young men and boys themselves, and they need to be educated on the deaths of thousands if not millions of potential lives that are wasted, just wasted, every time they touch themselves.

The Roman Catholic priesthood is in fact an exemplar to us on self control. If you and your brother priests can abstain from sexual encounters – and we don’t have any priest that embarrassed the pope in Sri Lanka with their sinful pedophile ways… do we? Best not respond, we don’t! As you pointed out the West with their bankrupt morality has even influenced the sacred office of the priesthood, shocking! – there is no reason why we laity cannot follow your fine, fine example. Sex is about procreation. God said multiply to Adam and Eve, not enjoy yourself. People have forgotten this Malcolm, and I think we need to remind them.

And what about our women? If we’re not careful they will also start masturbating and waste eggs. Bad enough they have the clitoris – the puritans were so right to call it the Devil’s button don’t you think? Perhaps, it was indeed the Devil that added that feature after God finished his creative process. Perhaps the Devil’s button emerged after Eve bit the apple, perhaps the Devil copulated with Eve in serpent form, who knows, Moses in his wisdom (that flowed from God)  has recorded nothing of this. I think women must in fact be inherently evil, I mean they are the ones that are asking for the right to abort life. The right?! Laughable that women think they have rights. And what is this word ‘abort’, like we’re aborting a mission in a World War II movie? It is far too lighthearted, inappropriate, it’s just… wrong. Why can’t we call it murder, plain and simple Malcolm? It’s high time the Church stopped trying to build consensus by using their sinful terminology.

Malcolm, you should ask them to overturn the existing restricted law too! Why abort if the mother’s life is in danger? Our standard should be the Vatican City! You go there regularly now to sit with the other ecclesiastical princes in the College of Cardinals, and no abortions happen there, do they, under any circumstances? High time you we made a push for this Malcolm, otherwise God might charge us with the sin of omission! Jesus’s brother James was very clear on this.

And what is this nonsense about allowing abortions in the event of rape? Yes, the government tried to qualify this and say, in the event they’re under 18, but even if these girls are under 18 should they be allowed to take the potential life that is growing inside them? And we’re quite right not to allow this foetal massacre for women over 18 ,even if they come up with the excuse of rape, and… wait for it… incest?! Really? Really?? Really??? What do they even mean by incest? These drama queens… haven’t they read the bible Malcolm? Have they not realized that incest is in fact permissible i.e. that sexual activity between a man and his own daughter is not explicitly forbidden? Heathens the lot of them. Not like us Malcolm. Not like us.

It is time to go back to the Bible Malcolm. It is a cardinal sin to have strayed from these core teachings. We must remind women of their place!

Judges 19 -

²² While they were enjoying themselves, some of the wicked men of the city surrounded the house. Pounding on the door, they shouted to the old man who owned the house, “Bring out the man who came to your house so we can have sex with him.”

²³ The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don’t do this outrageous thing.

²⁴ Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But as for this man, don’t do such an outrageous thing.”

²⁵ But the men would not listen to him. So the man took his concubine and sent her outside to them, and they raped her and abused her throughout the night, and at dawn they let her go.

²⁶ At daybreak the woman went back to the house where her master was staying, fell down at the door and lay there until daylight.

²⁷ When her master got up in the morning and opened the door of the house and stepped out to continue on his way, there lay his concubine, fallen in the doorway of the house, with her hands on the threshold.

²⁸ He said to her, “Get up; let’s go.” But there was no answer. Then the man put her on his donkey and set out for home.

²⁹ When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and sent them into all the areas of Israel.

Malcolm, what can we do this Good Friday to remind our brethren that have strayed from the path? We can’t kill Jews anymore, it’s not very PC, so what about turning our sights on women? I know you’re praying for Ricky to win the US Presidency, like the rest of us, and with his leadership – the threat of nuclear war – we’re confident that the rest of the world will realize that they either put women in their place and STOP FOETAL GENOCIDES or prepare to get nuked! Plain and simple. We need to get rid of that nigger in the white house, otherwise we’ll have to wait another 4 years and more babies will die needlessly.

The only other solution I can think of Malcolm is female circumcision. Let’s take the Devil’s button out of the equation. No pleasure means no temptation. Men can then choose the most appropriate time to plant their seed in what is now a well tilled garden that remains faithful to its purpose. They will not stray, and, most crucially, they will not make inappropriate demands on us to be pleasured. We will copulate with them only when we want to copulate, and so demand that they assume the appropriate position. Between you and me though Malcolm, I do not like the missionary position, despite its noble origins. It forces me to look into her eyes… have they no shame, can they not look away, or even close their eyes? No, the missionary position, I am afraid, is not for me. I do a variation of it though, not wanting to simulate beasts by entering women from behind, and in this variation her head is always turned from me, and she is blindfolded lest her shameless eyes try to bore into mine. I also make sure it hurts her Malcolm. There can be no pleasure. Given the chance, I would cut her up into twelve pieces and place her around Colombo, but then, what would that achieve? These women’s rights groups would be up in arms! Whores of Babylon the lot of them!

Right Malcolm, I hope you I have given you enough to think about. You inspire me, and all I want to do is inspire you too, to come closer to God, and to return to his core teachings.

May the menstrual blood of the Virgin Mary wash away our sins.

Amen.

The power of theatre is never to be underestimated. Eve Ensler’s play The Vagina Monologues, inspired the V-Day movement; a global activist movement to end violence against women and girls. Theatre can often reach across linguistic and cultural boundaries, and it is this medium that the Grassrooted Trust will once again use this April to get their message through.

‘ V-Day 2012: Writings to end violence against women in Sri Lanka’ will go on stage on April 1, at the Maradana Warehouse Project. Last year’s series of monologues that were performed, ‘A Memory. A Monologue.

A Rant and a Prayer: Writings to End Violence Against Women and Girls’ featured narratives from all over the world. This year they will focus on writings and issues closer to home, with a selection of pieces by authors working in the field of sexual and reproductive rights in Sri Lanka.

“These pieces are not just about women with vaginas,” Hans Billimoria, who directs the pieces along with Anuruddha Fernando points out. “The one thing they all have in common is that they are all stories about women who have faced violence in their lives, be it physical or emotional.”
The eight pieces, some monologues and some performed by several actors, are written in all three languages. Jewel’s Pieces of You deals with bigotry and prejudice, A Story from Jillabektiya Land is a political piece on Sri Lanka and its supposed exclusion from all things sexual, and Virgin Mary is a monologue on emotional violence in its most subtle form. In A Small Room a young girl speaks about getting an abortion, while Just Another Queer in Colombo is a discussion on stereotypes, misconceptions and gender identity. Beloved Sister is a monologue on the ambiguities of incest, Pray the Gay Away is an interview with a pastor on Christianity and sexual identity, and Onion Tears is a short one-act play on the ambiguities of rape.

They all focus on a topic that the organizers feel require immediate address. Violence, in all its forms, faced by women in the island. For example, did you know that 70% of Sri Lankan women on public buses face harassment everyday? Or a thousand unsafe abortions happen every single day in this tiny land? Hans lists out these statistics with the weariness of a seasoned activist-to him they are not just facts, but things that need immediate attention, and most of all, awareness.

Gayatri Nataranjan, his partner in life and work, agrees. “Part of the reason why it’s such a massive issue is that we never talk about it. And of course, the reason that it’s not is ‘culture’. Gayatri and Hans are trustees of the Grassrooted Trust, an organization that works primarily in the field of HIV, Drugs and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights.

They conduct workshops around the country, and meet people from all walks of life-these experiences have formed a basis for the pieces that will be presented during the show. The pieces, all written by Hans and fellow trustee Paba Deshapriya, will explore what they call different facets of one theme-violence against women.

The cast that has been rehearsing for the past six months includes Sathya Bashna, Rujuta Teredesai, Pasan Ranaweera, Pia Hatch, Uda Deshapriya, Kapila Rasnayake, Krishan Jayaratnam, M. Kalidas, Michael Holsinger and Shanuki De Alwis, Dominic Kellar and both Hans and Gayatri; all coming together for their cause. Watch them speak up and speak out, on April 1 at the Maradana Warehouse Project.

Tickets priced at Rs. 500 are available at the Commons

Courtesy Sunday Times

Earlier that week at school, I was invited to a do over the same weekend. I’d declined saying I was going to be busy, making and then selling (the most divine, even if I dosay so myself) carrot with orange cream cheese cupcakes at the Royal-Thomian Condom Cricket matches that Sunday.

No one was overly impressed that I was going to be baking almost a hundred cupcakes. They were, however, rather grossed out that I – I actually don’t know what grossed them out. That I said the word condom, or that the match on Sunday was called Condom Cricket. Or because when I said the word ‘condom’ they all immediately had visions of big giant penises donning condoms, in which case I think I’d allow it. Penises aren’t the most attractive appendages to look at, less so when they’re blown up to giant sizes.

Surprisingly, no one wanted to ask what Condom Cricket was. Wouldn’t you ask? If someone said, “I’m busy this weekend because I’m going to watch the Baby’s Bottoms Basketball match,” wouldn’t you ask what the fuck Baby’s Bottoms Basketball was??

I guess baby’s bottoms trump condoms.

I shouldn’t have been surprised by the response. All the recently-turned-mothers in my staffroom are convinced that I’m going to have no choice but to ‘get in their boat’ soon because I will get pregnant at some point! When I said it was impossible because Hans and I always used condoms I was immediately shushed and faces were made and eyes were rolled. “Really G, that was quite unnecessary.’

Why? YOU talk all the time about the colour and consistency of your baby’s poo while we’re eating lunch, you discuss breast feeding and the baby chomping on your nipples and you discuss MY ‘making a baby’ a. k. a. ‘fucking’  but somehow it still offends everyone’s sensibilities when I bring up contraception!

Maybe they’re just being good Catholics. After all, the Pope has already denounced condoms; they’re only okay if you’re a sex worker, in which case you’re going to hell anyway, so why not go ahead and use ‘Satan’s purse’.

Interesting chap, Ratzinger, Jr. He joined Hitler Youth only in 1941 – when it became compulsory, you see. It was the same year Hans Scholl was reading a copy of a sermon by an outspoken critic of the Nazi regime decrying Nazi euthanasia policies. He would go on to be one of the founding members of the White Rose – a German Resistance group, made up of students from the University of Munich. The six most recognized members of the group, including Hans Scholl and his sister Sophie, were arrested by the Gestapo and beheaded in 1943. These young people were from Munich. Ratzinger was in Marktl am Inn, not too far away.

Well, now that we’ve established that I think the Pope is a liar (I’ve worded it very carefully – this is my opinion; you are, of course, welcome to yours) and a Nazi (again, I think), I must admit, I find myself pleasantly surprised by his latest statement on procreation

He says the funniest things. In this instance he’s said that artificial methods of getting pregnant were simply ‘arrogance’ and that ‘couples they should refrain from trying to conceive through any method other than conjugal relations’ because otherwise they would be committing the most grievous sin – ‘the arrogance of taking the place of the Creator’.

No fucking arrogance in making such a statement though.

Having said that, arrogance aside, I believe his statement is more positive than not. And here’s why:

According to latest estimates there are over 132 million orphans in the world. UNICEF and global partners define an “orphan” as a child who has lost one or both parents. Therefore, of the 132 million children they classify as orphans, only 13 million have lost both parents. The majority of orphans are living with a surviving parent, grandparent, or other family member. That’s not too bad is it? Only 13 million. This is an official number. We all know how accurate those ones are, no?

Unfortunately, it is also a reality that those who have lost a mother, the majority of the time the father does not care for them, so the fact that they still have a living parent does not impact them all that much. Grandparents very often cannot care for the children due to age or more likely financial issues.

Now, I’m not advocating a one-child policy like the one they introduced in 1979 in China. Again, I believe it is a good idea, but only in theory. In reality, sadly, the need for a male child has twisted this policy which was meant to alleviate China’s economic, environmental and social problems, beyond recognition – into one that has managed to denigrate women to a status lower than ever before.

What I am advocating, however, is adoption. When I told Hans I thought this statement from the Pope was great because at least this way some people might be nudged into adoption, he said it wasn’t enough. That I should write about all the reasons why one should adopt. He asked me ‘sell’ adoption.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. And I’ve decided, I don’t know how to ‘sell’ it. It seems pretty obvious really. One should adopt, because one wants a child. You could go back and forth forever on the adoption versus biological parenting debate. There are enough and more studies conducted by all kinds of organisations and institutions that support both arguments. None of the arguments, however, changes the reality that there are 13 million orphans in the world. 13 million children without a mother or a father. 13 million children that need a mother and a father. What is there to sell?

One of the arguments that is thrown at me when I say I don’t want to have kids is that I’m selfish. Of course no one thinks to ask why. I simply don’t know what I’m saying or I don’t mean it or I’ll change my mind or accidents happen anyway – and if I add that I’d rather adopt than have my own, then they’re convinced I really can’t be serious.

Why is there this assumption that if someone says they don’t want to have children – not they don’t want children, just that they don’t want to have them; there is a difference – they must necessarily not want to adopt. Who the fuck would think of adopting over having their own kids! So now I’m going to throw this back at them: I think you’re selfish. You want children. You can afford children. And yet you won’t take home one of the 13 million. Why? Just because he or she won’t look like you or share your blood. You’re not just selfish, you’re also pretty arrogant.

Sure there are scams. Yes, there is trafficking. So do some research. You sure as hell take the trouble to read up and go for check ups when you’re pregnant and expecting. So why not make the same level of effort when you’re adopting and expecting?

I say this although I have never given birth. Women always say they forget all the pain once their baby is finally, really in their arms. I think it is the same with adoption. There is pain. But there is also that same joy when that child enters your life. And fear too. Just like when you give birth. Who has ever given birth feeling confident of their brilliant parenting skills. There is always fear. And it is a good thing. It means you want really badly to do well.

And if you want that much to do well, it won’t matter whether the child carries your genetic code or not. Or it shouldn’t anyway. If you believe you can love your child unconditionally, then how can your love be conditional on your child carrying your DNA? Really, how does one sell adoption?

You should, because you can and because you want to. And really, you should want to.

So as arrogant as the Pope’s statement may be, I don’t think it is all that bad the impact this will have on his believers. First of all, if any one bothers to take Ratzinger, Jr. seriously and actually decides NOT to get IVF and literally keep trying for a miracle, then the lack of good sense must automatically disqualify them from becoming a parent. Thank God (literally). Second of all, those who also take Ratzinger, Jr. seriously, but less so than the previous group, will move towards adoption. At least some of the 13 million might find a home.

Hallelujah.

As the big match season promises to be more intensifying, the Class of 94’ of Royal and S. Thomas’ – the two schools involved in the history rich ‘Battle of the Blues’ cricket encounter – has come out with an innovation via cricket.

The old boys from these two educational institutes have got together to conduct the inaugural ‘Condom Cricket Sixes’, a cricket tournament with a difference and a cause, which will be played at the Malay Cricket Club ground in Colombo on Sunday (4) starting from 8.00am.

This particular six-a-side cricket tournament is jointly organised by the Class of 94’ of both schools has been played since 2006.

This year however, together with the Grassrooted Trust, this partnership has come out with a different idea which is to raise awareness on HIV and pledge the support to people living with HIV in Sri Lanka.

“Currently there is a stigma associated with the purchasing of condoms in Sri Lanka; the premise is that a culture which promotes self-discipline before marriage and faithfulness to a spouse does not need a condom. In Sri Lanka there is a lack of accurate and comprehensive information being shared on HIV. So we thought of linking HIV with cricket in order to reach those who are remote through this popular sport,” explained Hans Billimoria, old Thomian, and a member of the Grassrooted Trust.

Condom Cricket, a stranger to Sri Lanka, was first invented by Hans himself in India in 2008 as part of the ‘Wake Up Pune HIV Campaign’.

This concept was used to communicate HIV prevention and support messages by using cricket, the most popular sport in South Asia.

“As old boys of S. Thomas’ and Royal we’re happy to support this cause,” said Shehan Perera, President of the Class of 94 of S. Thomas’ College.

Today’s ‘Condom Cricket Sixes’ tournament is expected attract a large number of old boys’ teams from both schools, and also a teams from the UN, National Youth Services Council and other civil society actors who have joined the fight against HIV in Sri Lanka.

Courtesy Sunday Times

Renuka Manthri.

She was a member of the DISHA Team, a lady in red, a friend. I loved her, she was special. She was hilarious. With me, she was honest, open, human.

At work, she wielded a wooden dildo with the best of them. No question was too embarrassing to answer. She was sensitive. Her HIV positive clients loved her.  So did the team. She was a new comer, but within moments it was like she had always been there.

She also cooked and cleaned for me – not many people knew. She would arrive every Sunday to make sure that I kept my little flat in Koregaon Park habitable. Then, we’d sit down and eat what she had cooked for us. Talk. Share our lives. Laugh. I trusted her. She trusted me. She told me of  the sexual harassment she faced at work. She made me promise that I would never speak of it, that she would handle it, and that she had friends like Meera, who would protect her.

Make no mistake, this was a strong independent woman. A mother. A lioness. After the death of her husband she fought hard to ensure that her children had a life that would be better. Renu’s quiet courage was why we loved her.

She may have come from humble beginnings, she may have lived in what Indians call a slum, but like we learnt in Pune, this means fucking nothing. The most beautiful, intelligent, vibrant, human people come from humble beginnings and live in what the world calls slums. We are privileged to work by their side. They have taught us everything we know about life. The lessons we re-learnt in Pune’s slums, will always be their lesson to us, and when we do learn new lessons, we’ll remember that we first learnt that too, in Pune, with women like Renu, and just forgot that we did.

Renu spoke English as fluently as she did Marathi, Hindi, Telugu and Kannada. Always our long suffering translator, giggling at some of our requests, and trying to hide her shock or amusement at what was discussed. She never tried to hide her sadness though. I don’t think she could. Renu’s eyes were eyes you could lose yourself in, eyes that were puppy dog like, eyes that made you want to hug her and protect her and tell her that everything would be ok.

She fell in love with a married man. A man that was married into a family of a DISHA team member. That double headed snake of Hypocrisy and Judgment raised its ever ready head. People who called themselves her friends turned from her. People that were her friends counselled her. End it. You’re breaking up another family. Then, when she was seen to spurn their counsel, they turned from her too. Home wrecker. In 2010 when I returned to India I spoke to her over the phone. She was too embarrassed to come and see me, for I too had counselled her to find another man if she can. When I did convince her to see me, we laughed at how much weight we’d both put on. We talked of everything. She made me promise to never tell others that I had seen her alone.

Last December I emailed her. I am coming to Saheli with my Sri Lankan team. Make sure you around. No reply. When I got to Saheli she no longer worked there. I asked her mother to tell Renu to call, and come see me. I took down for her number too, and then, in mad haze of alcohol and ganja I never called.

If there ever has to be a reason to regret a mad haze of  alcohol and ganja, then not calling Renu is it.

Stories were flying about, thick and throaty with rumour and gossip. I knew she must have been sad. I knew she wanted to talk to me, our email conversations were always deferred, when I come we’ll talk… we’ll talk when you come.

I will miss you Renu. I will miss the laughs we had together. I will miss your eyes. I will miss your smile.

At the end, before you went, I know you told Maya and Lata that you were never as strong as them, but you were wrong. You were so fucking wrong. You inspired us. You challenged us. Even in the choosing of your death, there too, was  strength. And anyone who tells me different can fuck off.

I am sorry we, your friends, failed you. Our hypocrisy and judgmental-ness killed you. And again, anyone who tells me different can fuck off.

Renu, I will not forget you.