That smile is itself filth and violence.

I feel for you, and while violence begets more of the same generally speaking, what you did was absolutely right – I’d have done the same, and he deserved it – and he KNEW he deserved it for what he did to you and the countless other women he has undoubtedly sexually molested.

Because make no mistake, the fact that there wasn’t penetration or “more” doesn’t mean that this was not sexual abuse. He molested you in plain sight of others, with no fear, knowing that what he did was ALLOWED and that makes me furious as well.

Anger can be used as a tool for progress. Use your anger, cleanse with your anger – don’t turn it inward, don’t let it damage you or make you feel as if you’ve done anything wrong. NO, you weren’t wearing a skirt that was too short. There is no such thing, no woman, no matter WHAT the circumstances, “deserves” to be handled by any man as if she were an item for his arousal or entertainment.

Part of the ugliness of this is that he KNEW how upset you were, and derived much of his enjoyment from your discomfort.

This kind of thing is about power over, not about sex, per se. This man can surely get sex if he wants it – he got off on forcing you to be fondled and touched against your will, on feeling superior and powerful.

And that, against your will, is abuse. We don’t call it rape unless there is penetration, but what is rape exactly? You felt violated, you WERE violated. We’re all grateful that you were violated further but that doesn’t alter how badly you were treated, the violation you did sustain.

You’re strong and brave.

We all must be, we all must fight back, with letters and protests and pressure until the government(s) make clear that this IS CRIME and will not be tolerated. Zero tolerance for this most ugly blatant form of molestation – this and so many other similar acts perpetrated in societies that still allow men to treat us as if we were no more than a collection of body parts.

Have you published or presented your undergraduate research anywhere? I think one of the reasons we don’t know if these issues have been studied or not is because there is no database or public access to research unless it is published as a book. So we are constantly reinventing the wheel, i.e. no one builds on previous research, it is not available for discussion, etc.